Have you ever had one of those nights where EVERYTHING is on your mind and you cant focus on sleeping? I had one of those last night, but it was at the point where I was crying. I know what you're probably thinking{Wow, she is pretty emotional} and you would be thinking right because at times I have all these thoughts and then I think of God and my past and then it all just bottoms out in crying. For those of you who may or may not know me I have been through more than anyone should go through in their life-time.{And I'm only 14} At age 9-10 my parents divorced, I didn't understand why till this past yr when my mom actually explained it to me. During this rough time in my life, I had to step up to the plate and start helping my mom out with whatever she needed. I was basically a second mom for my siblings. (As a matter of fact, I am babysitting them right now) In the years following the divorce, it was hard for me to relate to all of my friends when they would talk about dad's and stuff. When I was 11, I was in 6th grade and that was the toughest year because my dad was completely out of my life and to this day I haven't seen him or even heard from him. I remember that we had an end of the year retreat and one of my teacher's{Who was moving and acted like a second Dad to me} He was praying over all the students and I was the last one he prayed over. The prayer was extremely long and the part that stuck out to me was this:"God bless Rebekah Lord, she is the strongest person I know. She reminds me of my own mother{who is a strong woman}. She's been through things anyone shouldn't go through. Lord, she is a bright light......" And it went on. As the years went on my grandfather was like another dad towards me. But when I was 13 he went on to be with the Lord and to this day I cant picture him not being here, In my mind he is on vacation or something! Hahah. This past year I made a transition to a new school called UFCA. I made a ton of new friends(got a lot of guys attention) and it was a blessing because later on in the year I had some conflicts with my church friends. God made it all work out for my good! Anyways! That's just a taste of part of my past. So imagine, this was my mind last night: My past, boy- troubles,friendships,choices, etc. Last night as I got settled in to bed, I turned my iPod on and a song by Kari Jobe came on called What Love is This? It talk about how God made a way so we could know him, and how He'll ALWAYS be ENOUGH for me. And at times we as Christians may think "Oh God isn't enough" But the Bible says that he is MORE than ENOUGH for us. Last night I pulled out my current journal and my old journal, I compared dates from then and now and thought "God I have come SOO far!" And I just cried and got chills, I was listening to the song and I felt God say,"Rebekah, I am enough for you. Always ENOUGH for you." I was amazed at the peace I suddenly felt. It was amazing. When I finally turned off the lights and the music I lay there with mountains of thoughts running through my mind. Then when I finally drifted of to sleep. I dreamed of picture frames and in the picture frames I saw good and bad memories. Memories that have blessed me and have scared me. I saw tons of people looking at them with me. And at the end of the row of picture frames God was sitting there and saying I am enough, throughout all of these memories I have been MORE than ENOUGH for you. I am the father to the father- less.
He is always enough for you,
Rebekah
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